Waiting
DURING THE THREE WEEKS that I waited for test results and waited for specialists to schedule the next battery of scans and tests, I became someone I didn’t know. I sat in the back of church at services so no one could see me cry when the choir sang. My journal pages were splotched. I couldn’t handle myself at the office so I quit going in. At times my chest was too tight to draw a breath. None of that mattered. The waiting went on.
IN THE RESTROOM OF ONE OF THE CLINICS a woman was talking on a cell phone, fussing with a curly crop of strawberry blonde hair. She seemed to be trying to wake up someone. She put the phone in her handbag with a snort, pulled the curls off, and set them on a shelf of wigs I hadn’t noticed before. She turned to me. “Teenaged boys. Bah.” She gave me a once-over. “What are you in for?”
MY EYES WELLED UP. “I don’t know yet.”
“OH,” SHE SAID. “That’s the worst part.” She tapped her chest with a finger. “Breast cancer. I’m an oncology nurse, and I nearly went crazy with the waiting.” She pulled a scarf out of her purse and draped it over her head. “My family too.” She eyed her handbag. “Not that you’d know it now.
“THERE’S A LOT OF WAITING in this game,” she tied the scarf behind her head. “Most of it because the doctors are over-committed and therefore never on time, and then of course, we’re dealing with more of them than usual.” She shrugged. “Get yourself a nice hobby.” She opened the door for me. “What’s your name?”
I SWIPED AT THE TEARS that seemed determined to embarrass me. “Tamara.”
SHE HUGGED ME. “I’m going to pray for you.”
I NEVER SAW HER AGAIN, never thought to ask her name, but I took her advice. Cancer patients just do a lot of waiting. The ones who knit could outfit the Swiss Army with socks.
MAKE THE WAITING COUNT. Find something you’ve never had time to do, that you’ve always wanted to do, and do it.
I DON’T ASK FOR THE PATIENCE OF JOB, I ask for the patience of Abraham. He waited ten years for the birth of Isaac. (But, I'll bet he wasn’t in the doctor’s waiting room that long!)
You’re Blessed. Be a Blessing!
IN THE RESTROOM OF ONE OF THE CLINICS a woman was talking on a cell phone, fussing with a curly crop of strawberry blonde hair. She seemed to be trying to wake up someone. She put the phone in her handbag with a snort, pulled the curls off, and set them on a shelf of wigs I hadn’t noticed before. She turned to me. “Teenaged boys. Bah.” She gave me a once-over. “What are you in for?”
MY EYES WELLED UP. “I don’t know yet.”
“OH,” SHE SAID. “That’s the worst part.” She tapped her chest with a finger. “Breast cancer. I’m an oncology nurse, and I nearly went crazy with the waiting.” She pulled a scarf out of her purse and draped it over her head. “My family too.” She eyed her handbag. “Not that you’d know it now.
“THERE’S A LOT OF WAITING in this game,” she tied the scarf behind her head. “Most of it because the doctors are over-committed and therefore never on time, and then of course, we’re dealing with more of them than usual.” She shrugged. “Get yourself a nice hobby.” She opened the door for me. “What’s your name?”
I SWIPED AT THE TEARS that seemed determined to embarrass me. “Tamara.”
SHE HUGGED ME. “I’m going to pray for you.”
I NEVER SAW HER AGAIN, never thought to ask her name, but I took her advice. Cancer patients just do a lot of waiting. The ones who knit could outfit the Swiss Army with socks.
MAKE THE WAITING COUNT. Find something you’ve never had time to do, that you’ve always wanted to do, and do it.
I DON’T ASK FOR THE PATIENCE OF JOB, I ask for the patience of Abraham. He waited ten years for the birth of Isaac. (But, I'll bet he wasn’t in the doctor’s waiting room that long!)
You’re Blessed. Be a Blessing!
posted by Chronic Hope at 6:55 AM
3 Comments:
Tamara has been an inspiration to me through her "adventure". When her adventure started she and her husband came over and she had a little wine and a lot of crying. She called me the smartest man she had ever known. That night when I prayed to God to help her I recalled that comment and told God that if I am the smartest then she has surly been around some very dumb males and to let her met some doctors that are much more intelligent than I am. She sure deserves to met them.
Tamara has shown me how to be a truly dignified human on this earth.
Hi,
My family is going through the other side of the waiting game, and it's hard.
It's good to have hands to hold, and sometimes it's good to remember the biggest hand that you can reach for isn't really out of reach, but waiting patiently for you.
Blessing indeed.
This is terrific. I'll knit you some socks, OK?
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