Happiness Is?

BY MY KITCHEN SINK I keep a tile on a little easel. On it is painted: “Happiness is wanting what you have.” There is no author attribution. I wish there were, because I’d like to shake the hand of the person who first penned it.

NOW, NEARLY FOUR YEARS after my diagnosis, I have entered that treacherous place in my treatment where taking a breather seems possible. My condition, even to me, has become too much like that most boring of subjects—someone else’s divorce.

I KNOW I MUST FIND my fullness in a life bordered by a restless and dangerous disease, but I want that life to be as normal as it can be. And I’m not alone in wanting to forget about my circumstances. Many of my friends no longer ask how I am with any reference to the “C” word that used to dominate their inquiries. And I want that for them. But I must never relax the discipline that has helped me so much.

WE ALL DO IT. We celebrate the loss of five pounds with a dish of ice cream. Our blood pressure moves into normal range; we stop taking the medication . . . and the diastolic starts creeping back up. So, I must remain cautious of my cancer foe. I don’t dare turn my back on the beast that seems to be asleep for the moment.

WISHFUL THINKING is more my enemy than cancer. Contemplating what-might-have-been will only make me unhappy with what is. And being dissatisfied with a quiet moment in a journey with this pesky companion might lead me to foolishly run after the life I still miss.

INSTEAD, I NEED the reminder of that wise little tile by my sink. I need to turn my entire attention to gratitude. For, at least in my case, wanting what I have is even more than happiness. It’s life itself.

You’re blessed. Be a blessing!