Being Brave?
NOT LONG AGO I RECEIVED AN E-MAIL from a frightened friend who asked me to pray for her. Her mammogram had raised questions. She was to be screened again, but a holiday had slowed scheduling. She had two weeks to wait. “Please don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to worry my husband,” she said. “I’m only telling you because I know you’d understand.”
WELL, I WANTED TO TELL her I don’t understand, even though I’d like to. No two cancer scares are alike. Instead, I told her to stop being brave. It wasn’t necessary; it wasn’t expected.
SHE NEEDED TO TELL HER HUSBAND. Right away—without waiting for the right moment. This wasn’t the time for stoicism, and were the situation reversed, how would she feel if her husband decided to take on the process without her? He needed to share her burden as much as I did. We all needed to worry together, to soothe one another, to pray for one another, to suffer together. Marriage and friendship aren’t only for the good times.
MY FRIEND FELT no one but another cancer patient would understand, but she was wrong. God understands. He knows suffering more than any of us. After all, He suffered too, and, worse, He actually knew He would die horribly.
WE, ON THE OTHER HAND, don’t know what will happen to us, but at moments like these, we need to be how we are and not how we wish we were. We need to bounce around emotionally, if that’s how we’re feeling. We need to admit our weaknesses.
SO I TOLD HER TO FORGET HER DIGNITY. She should call the clinic where she was to be rescanned and tell them she was frightened and how much she wanted to be seen. Let them think she was a nut case, a coward.
IN FACT, THAT MIGHT BE AN ADVANTAGE! They might see her sooner if they thought she was coming unhinged.
THE WORST THING ABOUT WAITING IS INACTIVITY, and doing something like begging the clinic—daily if that made her feel better—was better than doing nothing.
BRAVERY JUST DOESN’T FIT. My dear friend needed to fall apart. To shake her fist. To come unglued. To ask God for strength.
PUTTING UP A BRAVE FRONT IS WAY TOO LONELY for a time like this.
You’re blessed. Be a blessing!
WELL, I WANTED TO TELL her I don’t understand, even though I’d like to. No two cancer scares are alike. Instead, I told her to stop being brave. It wasn’t necessary; it wasn’t expected.
SHE NEEDED TO TELL HER HUSBAND. Right away—without waiting for the right moment. This wasn’t the time for stoicism, and were the situation reversed, how would she feel if her husband decided to take on the process without her? He needed to share her burden as much as I did. We all needed to worry together, to soothe one another, to pray for one another, to suffer together. Marriage and friendship aren’t only for the good times.
MY FRIEND FELT no one but another cancer patient would understand, but she was wrong. God understands. He knows suffering more than any of us. After all, He suffered too, and, worse, He actually knew He would die horribly.
WE, ON THE OTHER HAND, don’t know what will happen to us, but at moments like these, we need to be how we are and not how we wish we were. We need to bounce around emotionally, if that’s how we’re feeling. We need to admit our weaknesses.
SO I TOLD HER TO FORGET HER DIGNITY. She should call the clinic where she was to be rescanned and tell them she was frightened and how much she wanted to be seen. Let them think she was a nut case, a coward.
IN FACT, THAT MIGHT BE AN ADVANTAGE! They might see her sooner if they thought she was coming unhinged.
THE WORST THING ABOUT WAITING IS INACTIVITY, and doing something like begging the clinic—daily if that made her feel better—was better than doing nothing.
BRAVERY JUST DOESN’T FIT. My dear friend needed to fall apart. To shake her fist. To come unglued. To ask God for strength.
PUTTING UP A BRAVE FRONT IS WAY TOO LONELY for a time like this.
You’re blessed. Be a blessing!
posted by Chronic Hope at 7:15 AM
1 Comments:
I hope the "friend" took or takes your advice.
maa
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