YEAH? WHO’S NOT A ‘FRAIDY CAT?
THE OPPOSITE OF FAITH ISN’T DOUBT, as I once believed, it’s fear. That condition that causes all the blood to flow to my big flight-or-fight muscles tells me that I don’t believe God will keep me safe in the lion’s den. It’s the acid test I’ve failed more than I’ve passed.
PUT ME IN THE PASSENGER SEAT with a daredevil at the wheel of a powerful car, and I forget everything except getting out at the first stop light. Self-preservation—that singular quality that Christ did not value—takes over and leaves little room for much else.
I CAN LIST DOZENS OF ANXIETY-PRODUCERS: the treatments I undergo every other week; being removed from the treatments I’d like to continue having anxiety about every other week; an unexpected knock at the front door at night; tiny dark places—like PET scans—where I have to remain still far too long; surgery of any kind; high open places; bullies; and stairwells in tall buildings that smell of smoke. The list goes on and on.
I’M NOT PROUD of how often I’m afraid—or of what that says about my faith. But, I am in good company. Joshua, Gideon, the tribes of Judah, Ahaz, Isaiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Jerusalem, and nearly everyone in the Bible who was greeted by an angel needed reassurance.
IT’S NO EXCUSE. In fact, considering what it took to frighten them I have lots of room for improvement. Lots of room to build my faith. It keeps me humble. It keeps me praying for increased faith.
AND MAYBE THAT’S WHAT FEAR is supposed to do.
You’re blessed. Be a blessing.
PUT ME IN THE PASSENGER SEAT with a daredevil at the wheel of a powerful car, and I forget everything except getting out at the first stop light. Self-preservation—that singular quality that Christ did not value—takes over and leaves little room for much else.
I CAN LIST DOZENS OF ANXIETY-PRODUCERS: the treatments I undergo every other week; being removed from the treatments I’d like to continue having anxiety about every other week; an unexpected knock at the front door at night; tiny dark places—like PET scans—where I have to remain still far too long; surgery of any kind; high open places; bullies; and stairwells in tall buildings that smell of smoke. The list goes on and on.
I’M NOT PROUD of how often I’m afraid—or of what that says about my faith. But, I am in good company. Joshua, Gideon, the tribes of Judah, Ahaz, Isaiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Jerusalem, and nearly everyone in the Bible who was greeted by an angel needed reassurance.
IT’S NO EXCUSE. In fact, considering what it took to frighten them I have lots of room for improvement. Lots of room to build my faith. It keeps me humble. It keeps me praying for increased faith.
AND MAYBE THAT’S WHAT FEAR is supposed to do.
You’re blessed. Be a blessing.
posted by Chronic Hope at 5:37 PM
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