LODGING A COMPLAINT

SINCE MID-DECEMBER I’ve been on a roller coaster ride. Strapped in with the disease I try to ignore, there have been times when I’ve had to remind myself that despair is one of the most deadly of temptations . . . and other times when I’ve boldly reminded God of His promises—although I’ll admit to looking for nearby thunderclouds before I began.

I’VE HAD TWO SURGERIES; two incorrect biopsies; one misread sonogram; an alarming PET scan that later proved to be only that—alarming (not a fair depiction); the last of my “injectible” veins blown; and two scary moments when I was afraid I’d be removed from the clinical trial that I’d had to convince the researchers to accept me for! And did I mention experiencing so much tumor pain I’m medicated more than my thought processes like?

THE ANXIETY AND MINOR MISERIES of three scans and multiple major blood draws during this same time frame would have made me sick if I hadn’t already been.

USING THE PSALMS AND JOB as my guideline, I understand that my relationship with God is to be based on honesty. So, I can honestly say I haven’t been happy with how things have been going lately.

I’M NOT UNGRATEFUL; I am fully aware that things could be much worse. But, in the interest of being forthright—and I’m not certain anyone but God would remain on friendly terms with me if I were to be up front with all my feelings all the time—I’m lodging a complaint. I believe our relationship can withstand it. He can’t be deceived. He knows how I feel even before I complain.

THAT’S THE POINT, isn’t it? Other religions have at their center gods who demand appeasement. That’s not our God. He seeks relationship with us. And that includes our blunt, in-His-face, this-is-how-I-see-it opinions.

HIS IS THE MOST INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP I can ever have. He wants to be a part of my life at all times—whether they are the nice or the not-so-nice ones. And that takes honesty on my part.

AFTER ALL, I can’t fool God about how I feel. I can only fool myself.

You’re blessed. Be a blessing!

THAT’S NOT MY JOB

EVERY TIME I RUN into people who tell me I won’t get to heaven unless I believe what they believe, I know how Christians get a bad reputation. I think they’re probably trying to scare me into that section of heaven they believe is reserved for their denomination. As if they’d been there, scoped out the territory, and determined that their section was not only the best, it was the only one.

FOR ME, THEY HAVE TOO MANY PAT ANSWERS to questions I find far too complex for simple dot-connection. Can any of us be that certain? They are, and, given the opportunity, they are eager to debate with those who are not.

THIS IS WHEN I RESORT TO MARK 9. Jesus, Peter, James, and John descended the mountain after the transfiguration and found the disciples who had been left behind debating with scribes after a failed attempt at exorcising a possessed boy. Jesus asked, “What are you arguing about with them?” There is no answer.

IT NEEDED NONE. Arguing with those who already know they’re right—like scribes or Pharisees—is a waste of time. Dale Carnegie said it so well: “Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still.”

HE ALSO SAID, “The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.” But, for me, it’s more than just avoidance. As a person of faith, it’s not my job to determine what only God has the authority to decide. And God, being God, is free to decide whatever He wishes and to change His mind as it pleases Him.

IF I DIDN’T BELIEVE THAT, I wouldn’t pray for others, asking that their burdens be eased, that their hearts be lightened, and that their health be restored. I wouldn’t believe the promises. I wouldn’t believe God.

BUT I DO.

I CANNOT KNOW HIS MIND. I can only look to his Son for a hint of what He’s like—after that, I’m pretty limited. The more I study, the more I pray, the more I’m convinced that those who claim more might be looking for assurances that prove that they are right.

THEY MAY HAVE MISSED THE POINT. Jesus told us to love one another; He didn’t tell us to scare one another. As Christians our job is to plant the seeds of faith . . . God will do the rest. That’s another of His promises.

You’re blessed. Be a blessing!