What Is This “Wait-and-See” Stuff?

I HATE IT WHEN MY DOCTOR tells me he wants to wait-and-see what some little suspicious spot on a scan might be. Last week wasn’t the first time I’d heard that from him. When my heart slowed down, and before I began berating myself for my lack of faith (again), I reminded myself that faith—like everything else of real value—is a gift. As the man with the epileptic son mentioned in Mark 9: 23-24 said, I just need a little help with my unbelief.

I HAVE TO DO MY PART. I have to ask for more faith. I have to study. I have to work to pry open my mind and heart enough to let faith in. Jesus called this being “meek” in the Sermon on the Mount. If I can learn to be meek, He said, I’ll be able to balance my life—and keep my eye on the proper target. That’s not always easy when fear is unleashed within the narrow confines of an examining room.

I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW THE PLAN . . . but, now I’m less convinced than I once was that I play much of a part in shaping it. And most of the time I don’t get to know the plan. Uncertainty is just part of the cancer game. And, except for the times my doctor rubs his chin in thoughtful perplexity, I don’t care any more. I’m along for the ride.

SO, I SMILED at the doctor, poor thing. Wait-and-see is all he has to offer, and I can worry about it in the weeks to come, or I can pray that my desire to be in charge will lessen. That I will be helped with my unbelief. That my belief muscles will grow stronger. That I will be granted the gift of faith.

DECISIONS. Decisions.

You’re blessed. Be a blessing.