Stress Buster #4: Making Peace

AS MUCH AS I HAVE WISHED at times that I could give the responsibility to someone else, peaceful living begins by making peace with myself.

FOR ME THAT MEANS AVOIDING BEHAVIOR I’ll regret. It means choosing the kindest way to say what I need to—especially when it’s unpleasant. It means using my head to think about the results I want BEFORE I open my mouth.

I ALSO HAVE TO AVOID allowing too many A-1 priorities into my life. When I look at my TO DO LIST and see more than three things marked “urgent,” it’s time to rethink what I’m doing to myself. When I let them, others will prod me into a place that’s too stressful for peace to prevail. I have to stop them. Let THEM lose sleep. I need my beauty rest.

SOMETIMES I NEED TO MAKE peace not just with myself, but FOR myself. For example, when I let people whose priorities don’t match my own upset me, I can calm myself by deciding how much, if any, I’ll let them inconvenience me. I only upset myself by expecting someone else to want what I want as much as I do. And that means I need to circumvent them whenever possible—and it’s usually possible.

ANOTHER BARRIER TO PEACE for me is being around those who love to argue or who have a need to have the last word. In his book, HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE, Dale Carnegie said, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” I find it necessary to repeat this mantra when I’m around some people—but only while there’s no way to avoid them!

CRITICIZING AND COMPLAINING chases peace right out the window. While not particularly uplifting, simply remaining silent or, when possible, mentioning what could be even worse (as in, “We may be shipwrecked, but at least there aren’t any sharks!”) is better than starting a thumb-sucking party. Of course, I try not to be too cheerful if everyone else is being cranky. I don’t want to be thrown out of the party altogether!

THE LAST TRICK—and the one I pull out of my bag most often—is remembering that when I become angry I give away any power I may have over myself or the situation. Irritation is an early warning that I am letting someone I don’t want to to have control over me.

IN THE END, I have to remember who I am and WHOSE I am to remain at peace.

You are blessed. Be a blessing!